Comic horoscope for 2020 on the zodiac signs in verses

Without humor and jokes, life would definitely be boring and monotonous. The stars endowed each zodiac sign with their characteristics, on which the course of their life in certain periods depends. A light and comic horoscope for 2020 according to the signs of the zodiac in verse will help with a degree of irony to look at yourself from the outside, laugh at your own shortcomings and admire the virtues.


For woman

Do not touch the Aries woman in the year of the Rat,

Aries woman - nightmare and fire.

Heat burns, crush love

Aries woman can and knows everything.

In the New Year she will have luck

Happiness in family and love is nothing but

Joy at work and marvel at fate -

You are lucky if Aries is in the family!

For man

Aries man is a chic male,

Cool lover, wonderful father.

In the New Year, he will succeed everywhere

As if by rays he would warm the soul.

Some adventures await him in the new,

The good news is that in the finale - luck.

Those in the family expect replenishment,

Who is lonely - under the crown of adventures.

In general, a successful and fabulous year:

Aries is certainly lucky everywhere!


For woman

Woman "Heifer" is beautiful, playful,

Let wayward and very obstinate.

This trait doesn't bother her at all,

With a glance one conquers all men.

In the New Year, it’s comfortable and simple with her,

If the partner is above average height.

The one below - crush the hoof,

Wet places will not leave anywhere.

In the New Year, she is advised by the stars:

Feelings surrender only serious.

Love your husband, if only mutually,

In business, edit without a "naive fool."

For man

Male Taurus is popular among all the ladies:

I want this, but I won’t give this one.

He is aesthetic, very wayward,

In his feelings, he is sometimes immoral.

Expect work in the New Year

With another reliable fishing, hunting,

With a sweet woman - love, a lot of passion,

In the summer of guests, those who: "Do not say hello!"


For woman

The woman is that Gemini - you are beautiful,

In the New Year, expect only happiness.

For receipts, prepare invoices,

You never face poverty!

You will be joyful insolent swim

And from love dear to multiply.

You will be true friends and love,

To cherish every minute of fate!

For man

Lucky twin man

Meet a half awesome.

He will lead you to the mansions

If the lady will be faithful to him.

And his success awaits in work

In spring and summer, in the autumn rain.

Everything will reach what it wants

If you do not succumb to laziness in life!


For woman

Crayfish - you are the mistress, at least where:

Baking, borscht, main dishes ...

Get ready for the new year - a series of

You have a banquet, something will happen!

Your stove will become your home

And the recipes of the old best book.

The main thing is not to lose your temper,

And that will be all a big fig!

For man

Crayfish - how much beauty is in it,

Not men - just super macho.

Are you ready for every bush

Tighten the good luck.

Not a maniac, a connoisseur of beauty,

And her around, oh, how much,

Take care of the girl of dreams

So as not to become lonely in the end!

A lion

For woman

New Year surprise will give Leo

In the form of a female dear crown.

You about her in a dream and in reality

So dreamed, dreamed delusionally.

Somewhere in mid-February

Fate will put on this joy for you

To love yourself every day,

Appreciating every moment as the best holiday!

The New Year will be welcome to you,

Alternating happiness and gifts,

You deserve it a long time ago -

Rats year - thrifty and bright!

For man

Leo takes care of his abode,

Protects the royal village.

In the New Year, anyone who comes to you,

Will be accepted, or eagerly eaten!

You are the direct and honest king of animals

And for this Rat will love you.

Only those who are welcome,

The rest - mercilessly destroy!


For woman

Virgin - you are beautiful and kind,

Just learn to be wiser.

Do not let too much simplicity

To those who are more cunning and brazen.

Expect the joys of great

From March to hot July

At this time all your dreams

They will find centuries-old reality!

For man

Maidens - you are bores, even where

Stop whining, itching idle.

You are the power of women, gentlemen,

Learn to do things clearly.

New Year will help you in everything

And fulfill all your desires:

Strong house will be a full bowl

And expect a lot of finance!


For woman

Women Libra are kind in everything

You are sweet, smiling, beautiful.

But, here is no reason to anger you -

Immediately you are terrible and dangerous.

In the new, it’s better not to get you,

You can do everything with a man next to you.

Everything will happen as you need

And there’s no other thing in life!

For man

Enough for you, Libra, to feel sorry for yourself,

In the past years you spilled.

Pile up finally

So that all your dreams come true.

Fun ringing to work

Shackle with joy with joy.

Remember that the rear is your family

Always grow and develop in it!


For woman

Your pride floats above all

Often, the roof is often on end.

Rejoice when it rains over the roof

The rainbow behind him will come a little audibly.

Be simpler, closer to everyone,

This will be a great return to you.

Rats year gifts will bring

And luck will definitely smile!

For man

Scorpio, meet happiness year,

You will be lucky in everything and at once.

Take care of everything that comes to you,

This is your past reward.

You can become a father in the year of the Rat,

That will give a lot of happiness

And at work, well done

Call nasty bosses!


For woman

Happy year smiles in a hurry to you,

He prepares a lot of amenities for you.

Lonely women are about to

The cavalier rat will suddenly push.

It will be a sharp turn,

Unexpected, but very, very important:

Whoever approaches you this year

Forever will be left one day!

And family signs are lucky

Feel the love, kindness, care

And of course, the money will bring

New stable work!

For man

Sagittarius, to the start, fate is calling,

You do not need to sit still.

The closest turn in life

Compare perhaps with the best song.

You are waiting for the night rendezvous,

Meetings are secret, but fortunately

And all old dreams

Come true with you overnight!


For woman

Let me be a little crazy

Feel like a goddess.

Go to the sauna, cinema

And captivate your beauty.

Live like this this year

So that everyone would be a little ashamed

For your success and beauty,

What will ensure a shameless year!

For man

You are the best Capricorn

There are fewer and fewer such men ...

So extend the race boldly,

Everywhere where they are looking for a sequel.

You will find rest and work,

And a lot of new adventures.

Year of the Rat - a year of great expectations,

A year of sex, joy, attraction!


For woman

Pouring water is not about you

You are so brave, impudent, concrete.

What even a rat this time

You will not dare to give a response.

Lucky in all of you and everywhere,

And this is a year of great achievements,

Remember one tip:

Keep achievements in yourself!

For man

In the Year of the Rat, you can do everything

And even what you don’t want.

Say, "I don’t want it,

But I’ll do it, if you want! "

No need to go in hostility there

Where they do not wait for you, and where they do not ask

And everything will turn out then

The rat brings its gifts!


For woman

Oh Pisces, your year comes,

Stir the water however you want.

Rat Year - Whirlpool

Cool events and discoveries.

You will succeed in love, in the family,

In work and study.

And all that scales shine with

Finds returns in society!

For man

Spread your tail, forward ridge

And gills boldly inflate.

Your year has come, without tears and troubles,

And that means - go for it all.

To new heights boldly on the road

And do not listen to anyone on the way.

You definitely can’t turn off it,

And the Rat will strangle all enemies!

Watch the video: Flat Earth vs. Round Earth. Explorer (December 2019).